what can I say?

I've been reluctant to post; even though I intended to do better this year with blogging.  2014 has rushed in with a whirlwind of emotional events and changes.  And while I'm sure I will want to remember them, I haven't had the words.  

After a hard-fought, yet somewhat brief battle with esophageal cancer, my beautiful mother-in-law passed away at the end of February.  She was an amazing person, and we miss her everyday.

There is so much I could say about Charlotta.  She was a remarkable woman, mother, grandmother, and friend.  I still don't feel like I have the words to speak to her memory.  Even so, here is a little exerpt from my journal:

My beautiful, sweet mother-in-law passed away yesterday.  It has been pretty hard!  I worry a lot about Samuel and his siblings adjusting to life without their mom.  It has been amazing, however, to see how the Grover family rallies to buoy each other during times of hardship.  It is one of the things I love most about being a part of the Grovers—I know they would mobilize in the same way for any of their siblings or in-laws. 

But it has been pretty special and tender with their mom.  She was quite a remarkable woman—a true angel among us—as I’m sure she will continue to be.  Charlotta was always a calm, loving, charitable person to the very end.  She had a fierce testimony that she shared through her example wherever she went.  She was a wonderful grandma.  Her grandkids adored her and she made each one of them feel special whenever they were with her.  I think my heart breaks the most for my unborn children—that they won’t get to have that experience with her here on earth.  Father in Heaven is speaking peace to my heart, though.  And I know they will know her on the other side of the veil. 

Charlotta was very studious and intelligent.  She was patient enough to research and study things out for long periods of time.  The thing about it, though, is that she was never pretentious about what a scholar she was.  She humbly went about doing good and sharing her wisdom in bits and pieces with the people she loves. 

I think about the story in the New Testament of the Savior washing his disciples feet, and I can’t help but draw a parallel toCharlotta.  She “washed feet” of her primary children, her family, her husband, her friends.  She washed feet in her job as a librarian.  She washed feet of neighbors and other women in the ward.  She has figuratively washed my feet through her example of what a loving mother should be.  She was ever-patient with my dear husband, from the time he was a child into adulthood, washing his feet and serving us in her quiet way.  

In a nutshell, it's already been a year of changes: changes at work (I'm moving to second grade next year! and there is a chance Samuel will be relocated to Boston for a few months...), changes at church (I'm the primary president, and Samuel is in the YM presidency), and we've continued to make changes to our home.  All good things, with posts of their own to come.